the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
