It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
