i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The air was thick with penises
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
