Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
