I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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