So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
