I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
