I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
