I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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