we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
