How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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