On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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