I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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