ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
