I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
