"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
