This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
