I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
bring money and cleavage
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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