I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
