She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize