how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
