On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
