im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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