All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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