Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
