I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
