i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
