His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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