So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
