He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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