ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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