scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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