I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
