no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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