You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
