actually, I'm a sock model
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
