so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
