guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize