That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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