How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
