No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
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I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
