I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
