I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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