hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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