Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
