I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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