You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
