The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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