Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you win again, gameday.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
