the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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