Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
