how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
