lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
