mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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