absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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