here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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