Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
