Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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