You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
