is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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