After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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