no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize