i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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