and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
