11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize