i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
