I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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