I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
